So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
