she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
