I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
