I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
