I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize