in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize