Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize
