sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
