I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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