Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
