sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
