K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
