There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
