so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
