very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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