We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
