you traded sex for a burrito?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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