Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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