apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
