She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
