WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
