so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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