he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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