Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
