Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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