I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize