i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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