are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
