Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
