I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think my mom watched the whole time
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
