Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
