I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
There was a lot of him and a little penis
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
