Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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