it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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