carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
