If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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