have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was like eating out sand paper
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
