spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
