Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
