It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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