So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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