he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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