I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
too bad you live with your parents still
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
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i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize