I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
