Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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