i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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