Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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