Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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