You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
