he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
