it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
