I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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