im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
