Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
