Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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