she woke up with a sticky ear
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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