He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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