I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize