Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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