i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize