so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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