How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have post one night stand depression
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