not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize