Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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